In defeat, we are forced to lay down our sword; in active surrender, we consciously choose to lay it down. We consciously accept that certain things are beyond our control. We learn to separate what needs action from what requires our acceptance and embrace. We choose the unknown.
Practicing active surrender is as much a source of energy and freedom as taking action is. It is needed when we approach situations with love rather than power. —J.M.
Dear Friends,
I’m on the other side of facilitating a six-day retreat with a brave beautiful group who arrived ready to fulfill their longings and mend their aches. Many participants were new to the retreat, while over half had attended one or more of my previous retreats. I’m still integrating the love, tears, and laughter. I’m happy to share some highlights with you.
The root meaning of “Retreat” is to pull back; a period or a place of seclusion for prayer, meditation, healing, rest, or recovery. In other words, a retreat is a permission slip to Stop to feel it all and to Start again, renewed, transformed, with new insight, or to start again and Never Stop Starting…
Our retreat was held in noble silence, each participant was given full permission to unplug from distractions, relax into their bodies, and feel all of life.
After an orientation to facilitate safety, we listened to what called each person to this particular retreat, here are a few:
I feel the cycles of time, burning fire in the sky, my life racing on an invisible edge. I forget that to run out of time is to run out of truth and that I have left my body, my heart. I am here to find my inner compass, to live from my body—my heart—on purpose, with meaning. —N.G.
It is time for a change. I’ve been in a haze, like a GPS with no signal. My mind is like a hyperactive puppy chasing its own tail—full of energy, but constantly tripping itself up and destroying my values. I’m here to stop self-sabotouging, to learn to be kind to myself, without the searing pain that radiates through my head like a wildfire. —G.O.
I’m a novice to plant medicine. I’m anxious. I signed up for a retreat last year before my health and life collapsed. I was not sure I would make it again this time. But when my son looked into my eyes with his blue eyes that look just like mine and said, “Mum, you can go. We will be fine.” I felt he was speaking to a part of me that needed to be revived. I am here for support to resuscitate my life. —C.F.E.
I’m tired. I’ve not been able to sleep well. My life is out of balance. I have pain in my hips that make walking and caring for my children difficult. I want to live — enlivened — in balance with my feet grounded steady on the earth. —A.P.
We traversed a critical inner shift for relating to who we are, our humanity, relationships with partners, family members, and the parental archetypes in our collective unconscious.
A female apprentice who had been on several retreats and leads groups for women and mothers was aware of old relationship dynamics with men. She had done a great deal of work with the mother archetypes. She feels so much joy in her life with five children who are doing very well. She shared…
After seven years of hard deep work to understand ourselves and grow together me and my partner are in a good place. I’m happy about this but I am so pissed off when men do not show up for their women and children. It breaks my heart and infuriates me. I see how this is connected to my masculine bloodline, male ancestry. I am here to meet my male ancestors and bring whatever is unseen to consciousness. I get so angry. I know this will only heal in community. —C.N.
She was speaking to the unconscious dynamics that keep both women and men caged by patriarchal structures and how deep this runs in our collective unconscious — our bloodlines. She was ready to take responsibility for owning the inner victim and inner oppressor, and the realization that we do not have one without the other. Both released from their gripping power —we are strengthened to be who we are and to love freely.
As the retreat continued, it became evident that everyone yearned to be psychologically free and confident in their inner world of knowing, tenderness, and integrity. We journeyed together with reflective introspection and an overflow of insights in unifying feminine and masculine energies.
In addition to ceremonies with three master plant teachers, we engaged in triads for ‘deep listening;’ writing to heal; sanity journaling; guided breathing and meditations; dreamwork; delicious food, and time to honor Mother Earth.
We will explore these liberating connecting processes in upcoming posts.
Each person on the retreat received a curated limpia.
Limpiar is Spanish for to clean. In my way of retreat, a limpia cleans and clears toxic energy that blocks, distorts, or masks an individual’s life force or true nature. Each participant brings a particular situation to the center of our circle to be seen, heard, and integrated with the body. A clearing—cleaning—healing process unfolds directed by me and guided by the plant medicines. Often additional participants will play supportive roles in the limpias to accelerate the impact, contribute significance, and honor the process.
The limpias are powerful sessions that ignite transformation in the individual and benefit all in the circle and the collective — as a whole. We are dissolving the old toxic structures and beliefs that block our light, love, sense of wholeness, and well-being.
By embracing both our strengths and weaknesses, we consciously choose to lay down our sword. We consciously accept that certain things are beyond our control. We learn to discern what needs action from what requires our acceptance and embrace. We choose the unknown.
We learn to love ourselves more fully. We inhabit our bodies, regulate our social nervous system, and nourish ourselves. This allows us to approach situations with love rather than power over.
What was most meaningful and impactful for you from the retreat?
Working with you, our healing hoop, and the plant teachers has facilitated what feels like a closing of a cycle of pain I have been in for as long as I can remember.
My most meaningful — my limpia.
You worked with me to restore my dignity after childhood abuse.
The many modes of therapeutic techniques with the medicines helped me come back to myself, to my dignity after so much self-abandonment and humiliation — this was gentle, powerful, and so very loving and tender.
It took courage to speak about my wound which has caused me, continuous suffering and heartache, all of my life.The grace and beauty to be witnessed in my reclamation of dignity was overwhelmingly heart-achingly amazing.
The warmth tenderness and humor were infectious.
I loved the music and dancing.Your depth of experience, deep reverence for the plants, your teachers, and the love you carry for your work inspire me, made me feel very safe, as I stepped into the unknown.
Thank you, I am grateful for this deep healing. —Kaycee Anand
I enjoyed the whole retreat, to have time away and dedicate time to healing.
I love the moments we came together after an intense ceremony and danced and laughed.
The biggest relief I felt was after the tobacco ceremony — as all my pain and inflammation in my body left.
Also, the holding patterns in my jaw, neck, shoulders melted.
I was able to fully be present like one energy of experience — a lightness of being.I loved being able to talk and listen on the psychology of the evolving consciousness. Your wisdom and interest speaks to me on a deep level.
Witnessing women healing together is powerful.
It was a little difficult coming with my mom. Thank you for making her feel safe to come out of her shell. She had a really good time. I really admire the way you are! Thank you. —Lauren
Realizing the already–present ability to heal oneself with such a fundamental component of a retreat with Prajna, who gently shines the light on that ability. It is so easily forgotten in this crazy Always-On world, but it is equally easily remembered, and called back, even more so when in the safe container of the medicine hoop. Deep bow of gratitude to Prajna and her teachers for this invaluable work. It is desperately needed. —Nigel C.
It was beautiful to connect with joy, laughter, tears, the ancient medicines, and to something real and natural.
To be with you and the amazing work that you coordinate with wisdom, sensitivity, and humor. It should be available to WHS, ha ha ha — if only. I wish my friends were open to this.
I feel washed inside out.
My nervous system calm, my body relaxed, my heart and mind open.
— Jane Whyte
This retreat invites courage, patience, and slowing down to feel all of it — active surrender for self-love, trust, and authentic freedom to blossom.
Courage: to stay with yourself and to soften self-judgment with gentleness and kindness.
Patience: The overall process may be slow or difficult. We can not rush the journey.
Presence means slowing down to be in the body and to feel all of your feelings: that may uncover tears, laughter, fury, fear, shame, or the part of ourselves that avoids, suppresses, sleeps, or works hard to perform perfectly.
Practicing active surrender — self-love: The willingness to use the resources provided as a source of energy that liberates the restraints of patriarchal conditioning and fosters genuine self-love — to be at home in your body.
Overall, a retreat is not just a casual experience but a powerful opportunity to ‘pull back — stop — step back’ into yourself with relaxed engagement and full permission to feel revived emotional intelligence — to be who you are and satisfy your heart like nothing else — to Never Stop Starting to Be You.
Slowing Down — Permission to Feel It All — Rinse and Repeat — Never Stop Stopping
I want to hear from you in the comments, anything that resonates with you about taking time for a retreat or words that flow from any of these prompts:
• What helps me to slow down is:
• You have just been given a permission slip to feel it all, what happens?
• What do you need to retreat from, so you can never stop starting?
Thank you for reading and receiving your dose of The Salty Crone.
with love,
Prajna O’Hara @PrajnaOhara.com
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Thank you for being here!
Posts Related to the Power of Retreats — Permission to Feel it All:
Drinking the Dark Brew, How I Became An Apprentice to the Shipibos.
Welcome to the Cosmic Hospital, A Story of Unaddressed Tremors to Transformational Healing.
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beautiful words, Prajna!
i like your prompt: "what helps me slow down is..."
here are my answers:
1. being near a tree
2. meditation
3. drawing
4. writing poetry
5. observing the world when i'm out in it (instead of my phone. this one is a challenge but i like it when i'm able to do it.)
6. watching my dog sleep
SOFTEN & SURRENDER
I like how these words feel. More, please.
We need your brave, radical loving care in this patriarchy shift!