I tried to post the below, as a comment on your newsletter Blog page about Joe…
But the system is not letting me post…
I followed the prompts, but I cant sign in either and get the message that “the handle is already taken”…
So I am emailing here instead….
💕🌷💕 nidhi
Dear Prajna…..Such a beautiful sharing…I too am touched to my core…..feeling the heart’s boundless longing and powerful momentum towards love…. Its unlimited capacity to love…be the portal for love moving through….to the inner and outer worlds……
I too have experienced deep healing in the safety and holding spirit of retreats….
As my mother was dying, love opened up between us in ways that felt utterly holy and beyond anything I had ever experienced with her…only with my guru…..It was like having Darshan…with my own mother…. Who had for most of my life been a main focus for my very early inner despair and wounding and heartbreak.
Love was simply showering us both …and we were simply there…together…no words…no thoughts….just a shared ocean of life-giving golden nectar embracing us …embracing everything….I realized I had never known my mother……and I felt deep awe and gratitude..
As you describe the way retreat happens through your guidance it sounds and feels so very resonant….
Would love to participate…yet my body haven’t been able to for awhile…..asking me to let go in that way for now….
Oh, Prajna. My god. What you have been through. I am in awe of your strength.
I can only imagine this kind of anguish, yet you go on. I have a feeling that you will triumph. The joy I felt in you when you were here was palpable and contagious. And love shines out of you.
Prajna. I need to come back to this for a deeper read when I am not consumed with care-taking my mom.
I just want you to know I see you. I’m so glad you wrote this and called it gutted. This is beautiful and such an important message. I will respond more when I can give you my full presence.
The beautiful image lingering with me from this post is that liminal space of the place between. The portal. It’s almost as if your time 24 years ago folded over on itself like an accordion to this moment when you received the quit-text with no notice. And that the care-worker is also in that space between. It’s such a sacred place to exist, and also so difficult to navigate as it requires an amount of being still at the same time as looking both forward and back and needing to move. The contradictions and paradoxes are so overwhelming in that space between. And that portal leaves so many possibilities and opportunities and potentials.
The colors and textures in that space, the in between, the portal…especially for you…are multidimensional technicolor and multifaceted. Omni-present Omni-potential, omniscient.
As you linger in this dusk/dawn of your life, know you have a vast village and community on all sides and all times holding you. Ancestral and beyond.
I know, I got esoteric and mystical and maybe a bit far into woo here. And I know you know that words limit the energies here.
I hat I really want to say is I see, feel, heart, hold and love you in all dimensions of this.
You are a phoenix! I felt your depth of despair and cried when the voice of love brought you away from the edge. That same power is going to come through for you again, I just know it.
Wow, Prajna, you are a warrior! You're being thrown left and right and gutted is the word. Beautiful writing, ugly situation of losing staff without warning. My heart goes to you.
My go-to pause buttons are breath-work, writing, and talking it out. Also a yoga flow helps me to think creatively and often I come to that 3rd option while sweating in savasana.
Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. This is the real work. Vulnerability is powerful.
Prajna, I can’t answer any of the questions you pose because I am still overwhelmed by your experience with your daughters long ago. I read your book and again, feel what I feel reading your story.
I see how it was a new being that walked away from that precipice long ago. It is so obvious reading what you wrote. I am blown away by that. GRACE!!!!!!
Bless you and your girls as you walk on the path set for you by GRACE.
In reading the comments it appears that maybe a great replacement candidate has shown up. I hope so. I know that looking back over my life at the darkest hours they were openings to new higher level ways of being. This is not to say it was ever easy. I do feel that my life experience is showing me life is benevolent even though I often can't see this in the middle of these "up-leveling" times. I'm imagining a new higher level reality for your family and seeing the actualization of unimagined potentials for all. Namaste'.
Wow! After reading your post and watching your mini-documentary I am in awe of your reslience to find a third way in the most difficult of times when you were alone, sleep-deprived, pushed past your limits, and had the life you imagined shattered.
It's inspiring to see how hard you've pushed to help your children reach their full potential and get the very best services. And, then how you even created a school to how other children and parents and how you help people on healing journeys.
Sending you lots of love as you look for a better care option.
Wonderful, if heart-wrenching, post. Thank you. I especially connected with the Carl Jung quote. Do not rush to solve a lose-lose conflict. A better option will show up. Intriguing concept. I'm definitely bookmarking this post.
Serendipity that Abby is practicing circus tricks. The balance of opposing forces involved is a physical manifestation of Jung's quote.
Thank you. I have Man and his Symbols on order. The Red Book looks like more than I can absorb at this time. I also can't help being reminded of Mao's Red Book. Hopefully they are not related. Maybe later.
Prajna, a compelling read, visceral with unfair gut-punch disappointment. HUGS!
In the hypervigilant days of caregiving Dad there was not much time-space to pause a 3rd way, between onset of angina, use some meds and his insistence of NOT wanting us to call paramedics, BUT even then 2-3 breaths can be the lifeline to make a decision.
In the less fraught days of now, perhaps the hypervigilance days have trained me to have a greater appreciation for holding a gentle space before 'doing'. It almost feels like a luxury, to be able to consider and reframe.
Different times and different needs. Acute adrenalin rush or drawn-out worries/stress...breath-work, meditation and music are my go-to pause buttons, depending on how much time I have.
From Nidhi until she figures out how to comment:
I tried to post the below, as a comment on your newsletter Blog page about Joe…
But the system is not letting me post…
I followed the prompts, but I cant sign in either and get the message that “the handle is already taken”…
So I am emailing here instead….
💕🌷💕 nidhi
Dear Prajna…..Such a beautiful sharing…I too am touched to my core…..feeling the heart’s boundless longing and powerful momentum towards love…. Its unlimited capacity to love…be the portal for love moving through….to the inner and outer worlds……
I too have experienced deep healing in the safety and holding spirit of retreats….
As my mother was dying, love opened up between us in ways that felt utterly holy and beyond anything I had ever experienced with her…only with my guru…..It was like having Darshan…with my own mother…. Who had for most of my life been a main focus for my very early inner despair and wounding and heartbreak.
Love was simply showering us both …and we were simply there…together…no words…no thoughts….just a shared ocean of life-giving golden nectar embracing us …embracing everything….I realized I had never known my mother……and I felt deep awe and gratitude..
As you describe the way retreat happens through your guidance it sounds and feels so very resonant….
Would love to participate…yet my body haven’t been able to for awhile…..asking me to let go in that way for now….
Thank you for transmitting this moment with Joe…
Much love,
🌷💕🍃🙏Nidhi
Oh, Prajna. My god. What you have been through. I am in awe of your strength.
I can only imagine this kind of anguish, yet you go on. I have a feeling that you will triumph. The joy I felt in you when you were here was palpable and contagious. And love shines out of you.
Hi Abigail. Thank you so much.
it's always fun and meaningful to meet in person.
I want people to be able to meet me like they do you though your words.
Abby and I may have found the perfect candidate today.
A man of 30 who has a strong background in mental health and special education.
His references are amazing.
We will have our next interview very soon.
Abby is rooting for this one — she feels the stability in his voice.
Oh hot dog! Let me know, he sounds perfect.
Yes, we will!
Prajna. I need to come back to this for a deeper read when I am not consumed with care-taking my mom.
I just want you to know I see you. I’m so glad you wrote this and called it gutted. This is beautiful and such an important message. I will respond more when I can give you my full presence.
Know you are loved and supported.
I understand this all too well, my post may inspire you.
GUTTED is no longer the word or case.
Best wishes with your Mom and Dad.
Lucky to have you.
The beautiful image lingering with me from this post is that liminal space of the place between. The portal. It’s almost as if your time 24 years ago folded over on itself like an accordion to this moment when you received the quit-text with no notice. And that the care-worker is also in that space between. It’s such a sacred place to exist, and also so difficult to navigate as it requires an amount of being still at the same time as looking both forward and back and needing to move. The contradictions and paradoxes are so overwhelming in that space between. And that portal leaves so many possibilities and opportunities and potentials.
The colors and textures in that space, the in between, the portal…especially for you…are multidimensional technicolor and multifaceted. Omni-present Omni-potential, omniscient.
As you linger in this dusk/dawn of your life, know you have a vast village and community on all sides and all times holding you. Ancestral and beyond.
I know, I got esoteric and mystical and maybe a bit far into woo here. And I know you know that words limit the energies here.
I hat I really want to say is I see, feel, heart, hold and love you in all dimensions of this.
You are a phoenix! I felt your depth of despair and cried when the voice of love brought you away from the edge. That same power is going to come through for you again, I just know it.
Oh my. That is one of the nicest things ever said to me. I feel seen by you.
Thank you so much.
I know you can relate.
Much love to you and yes you are right!
Wow, Prajna, you are a warrior! You're being thrown left and right and gutted is the word. Beautiful writing, ugly situation of losing staff without warning. My heart goes to you.
My go-to pause buttons are breath-work, writing, and talking it out. Also a yoga flow helps me to think creatively and often I come to that 3rd option while sweating in savasana.
Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. This is the real work. Vulnerability is powerful.
Hey Katie, Thank you so much for reading and sharing your pause buttons.
I do hot yoga, sweating saves me. I also do cold plunge as of two years, it is changing my brain — I swear.
I love your heart—many warriors among us, life makes us this way.
Best to you!!!
I have no words right now, thank you for sharing this.
Lori, you’re the best. I have too many words at times.
Lol. Sometimes, I have WAY too many.
Your story touched me deeply. I am changed by it. Beautiful incandescent strength & courage, you & your daughters. Sending love💗
Thank you for your kind words
I just read one of your stories and look forward to more .
🩵
Prajna, I can’t answer any of the questions you pose because I am still overwhelmed by your experience with your daughters long ago. I read your book and again, feel what I feel reading your story.
I see how it was a new being that walked away from that precipice long ago. It is so obvious reading what you wrote. I am blown away by that. GRACE!!!!!!
Bless you and your girls as you walk on the path set for you by GRACE.
You bless many. Thank you.
Thank you Kat for reading and staying with.
I don't want you to feel it as heavy - GUTTED is no longer the case.
We are getting help from many directions, I know the right person is coming and we are giving a raise.
Much love to you sister.
In reading the comments it appears that maybe a great replacement candidate has shown up. I hope so. I know that looking back over my life at the darkest hours they were openings to new higher level ways of being. This is not to say it was ever easy. I do feel that my life experience is showing me life is benevolent even though I often can't see this in the middle of these "up-leveling" times. I'm imagining a new higher level reality for your family and seeing the actualization of unimagined potentials for all. Namaste'.
Yes, we have one staring on Monday. Thank you so much for your kindness, checking in and being in the campfire with me.
Prajna -
Wow! After reading your post and watching your mini-documentary I am in awe of your reslience to find a third way in the most difficult of times when you were alone, sleep-deprived, pushed past your limits, and had the life you imagined shattered.
It's inspiring to see how hard you've pushed to help your children reach their full potential and get the very best services. And, then how you even created a school to how other children and parents and how you help people on healing journeys.
Sending you lots of love as you look for a better care option.
Hey Michael
Thank you for your kind words.
🧡
Wonderful, if heart-wrenching, post. Thank you. I especially connected with the Carl Jung quote. Do not rush to solve a lose-lose conflict. A better option will show up. Intriguing concept. I'm definitely bookmarking this post.
Serendipity that Abby is practicing circus tricks. The balance of opposing forces involved is a physical manifestation of Jung's quote.
Hello Gordon,
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your kind thoughts. I feel seen.
I’ve been working with Carl Jung’s teachings for some time — life-changing. I love the mystery and not concluding but being in it!
Can you recommend some books of his? I'd like to learn more about his philosophy. Thanks.
And may I say that your daughters are very lucky to have you. Bless you all.
Hi Gordon
Thank you
I really like the revised new addition of man and his symbols. So much of his work is based on dreams and that will be a primer for dream work
The red book. I have not fully read this one, but it’s highly recommended.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m really happy to know you.
Thank you. I have Man and his Symbols on order. The Red Book looks like more than I can absorb at this time. I also can't help being reminded of Mao's Red Book. Hopefully they are not related. Maybe later.
Best wishes.
Hi Gordon,
I doubt they’re related.
Marion woodman has a few wonderful shorter books on evolution of consciousness
She’s wonderful and easy to follow
💥
I'm sure they are not. I was just surprised to see it. Thanks for the reference to Marion Woodman.
Prajna, a compelling read, visceral with unfair gut-punch disappointment. HUGS!
In the hypervigilant days of caregiving Dad there was not much time-space to pause a 3rd way, between onset of angina, use some meds and his insistence of NOT wanting us to call paramedics, BUT even then 2-3 breaths can be the lifeline to make a decision.
In the less fraught days of now, perhaps the hypervigilance days have trained me to have a greater appreciation for holding a gentle space before 'doing'. It almost feels like a luxury, to be able to consider and reframe.
Different times and different needs. Acute adrenalin rush or drawn-out worries/stress...breath-work, meditation and music are my go-to pause buttons, depending on how much time I have.
Hello Victoria,
Yes, it does feel like a privilege as once in this kind of shit storm — it's an avalanche.
I love your go to's pause buttons and capacity to reframe.
Thank you fo reading an commenting and sharing. Wow!
I agree
The difference for me is I recover
Don’t blame
Not victim
Resilience is strong
Deep knowing a better solution is coming not by magic
I do my part
Love to you
Did you see the video?
Inspired to remember
Thank you