Thank you for tagging me Prajna. This is what patriarchy does to women - it takes and takes and takes from women, and then gaslights us into believing it's our fault that we've been robbed. There's a cultural shift where women in midlife are taking back what has been stolen and perverted by men. Unfortunately, I've noticed in books, TV shows, movies, etc on this topic, the women always have to pay a price for reclaiming what is theirs. They lose their primary relationship(s), jobs, reputations, and even their lives for daring to experience pleasure for themselves. It's maddening because it's being packaged as "female empowerment" but it's the same old misogyny dressed in a different costume.
Wow, Amy—yes, 200%. The facade of progress and liberation is thin at best, especially while sex trafficking and violence against women are on the rise. And now we’ve got bozo misogynists yelling “no rules” for themselves, like it’s open season on no consent.
But women are wide awake. And we’re not going back. 💥
Thank you so much for reading. I love your brave writing.
thank you so much for tagging me in the first place. And before I go into my own response, I can only completely agree with @Amy Gabrielle for her comment, especially the last part. It is one of the reasons why I no longer watch movies or TV. The constant onslaught of patriarchal narrative sometime mocking us cross-dressed.
Reading your words was like entering a sanctum—a velvet-draped room lit by candlelight, where truth, memory, and myth dance together like firelight on the walls.
I felt the pulse of your story in my bones. The way you wove survival and reclamation into every scene—spine-straight and soul-bared—it reminded me that erotic pleasure isn’t just about the body; it’s about presence, about sovereignty, about finally returning home to oneself after years exiled by silence and shame.
Your line—“I never judged the dancer. I judged myself.”—cut through me like a bell in the canyon. I’ve known that self-judgment, that inherited guilt masquerading as virtue. And I’ve tasted the fierce liberation of refusing to carry it anymore.
Thank you for naming the forbidden, for inviting it to shed its skin and shine. Thank you for showing that healing isn’t always soft—it can be raw, guttural, glorious. Like the hiss of a snake before it strikes truth into the heart of what’s been hidden.
With gratitude and kinship from one who also knows the long road back to sacred, unshamed pleasure,
Dear Jay, OMG your words of hard won wisdom. The erotic isn’t just the body, the work to shed shame that isn’t ours do we can own all who we are, as sovereign and whole. I delight in your generous recognition and kinship. Solidarity
Thank you so much. I’m encouraged and I wish you the best always - the constant bell in the canyon singing us home.
Prajna, that wisdom was literally born—and as always, birth is messy, painful, and often complicated. Even though I don’t have children myself, I know that truth. It’s universal. No real transformation comes without its fair share of pain.
And still, when you arrive on the other side, it’s better than it ever was before.
have a story on my paid subscription page (The Lair). I’m not sure it’s relevant but I posted it today. It’s part 2 of a 2 part series. it’s all about pleasure and it’s called “Pussy Talk”. It’s my other voice, the braver, unapologetic, unedited, unfiltered me (Naked Fat Cat) by heartandmuse.substack.com
An evocative read, well written, engaging and bleeding the truth
around a woman's sexuality, which is so much more expansive than "sex." We've been robbed of so much. I've been robbed of so much and I WANT IT…
“like a slow-coming secret”…I WANT IT!
The loss has been great in the reclamation, the reward…to be the possessor of my own body, my own erotic energy, my own sex to be given or withheld … it’s all my choice.
The performer has left the patriarchal stage…she’s done…She belongs to Life…she is birthing from within her own power a life which is aligned with her truth, her embodied presence.
I look forward to this series Prajna, and thank you for the mention. 🌹
Lila, I love your response. Thank you for being my pre-reader and urging me on — “like a slow-coming secret”…I WANT IT!'
Yes — you've got it, woman.
"The performer has left the patriarchal stage…she’s done…She belongs to Life…she is birthing from within her own power a life which is aligned with her truth, her embodied presence." Halleluiah to Balboa
Great cliff-hanger, Prajna! Thanks for the tag. I love stories about strong, conflicted women, who let their wild and wise side break through. Good writing. Good grit. Compelling. Can't wait for installment number Two!
Thank you, Wendy, you picked out a line that I imagine all women can relate to. Thx so much for sharing this post and connecting to your "Least favorite job" post.
Powerful piece Prajna and thanks for the tag! I can relate - and agree with Gabrielle too, the patriarchy takes and takes from women. We live in capitalism as their product and consumption. Split into two, the good girl and bad girl. One praised the other punished. This schism is crazy making. My sense is that the patriarchy is not just misogynistic, but is actually afraid of women's power and creativity. For when we are whole there is a fire in our bellies, a snake as our spine and erotic pleasure from just living life. My personal experience, who needs sex when you can have that? Especially when sex is presented as consumptive. Again great piece Prajna!!!🐍🐍🐍
I miss you too Prajna! I was planning on attending the last new moon meeting, but couldn't at the last minute. Hope to be at the next one!
And I hadn't read the essay on erotic power, I just did as I was writing this comment - and WOOOOOW. Very affirming around the work I've been doing these past few years. It hasn't been easy to step back into my natural erotic power when I keep being told it's wrong and bad. It's been mostly about unlearning and entering somatically and physically into this power. Her words were so spot on! Yes she says it all! 🐍🌹❤️
Prajna, I'm so glad you pointed me to this story, this awakening. We women have had so many things forcibly taken from us. I can't wait to read the rest of the ways you took yourself and your power back. XO
Katrina, thank you so much for reading. As you know, it's been a journey, and we've endured a betrayal of innocence countless times. Do you find writing about it healing and empowering? I feel like I was without pleasure for way too long.
I absolutely find writing healing and empowering. And the more I write about it, the less it hurts. Now my goal is just to help others know they're not alone.
Mimi, thank you so much for reading. These two are good men with decades of sobriety, doing their inner work. I’m curious, what do you find compelling? I want to write on, your encouragement is meaningful! 🌹
It was an absolute pleasure. Yeah I was surprised by that pull. I was all in the feminine mindset and there they are — and I want them to be. For you. I’m remembering a line from a book called The Firekeeper’s Daughter, spoken by a wise auntie — to the effect that every girl needs to know there’s one man on her side. Not because he wants one thing from her. Just because. I remember reading that and wishing it didn’t ring true but then thinking “yeah.” So maybe that’s it or something along those lines?
Oh! I have a similar "waitressing" story, but my lips remain sealed. 60! I am glad you got there, my friend, but I am sorry the road leading you where you needed to be was full of such trauma potholes.
I haven't watched it yet, but I have been reading amazing things about the show "Dying for Sex" with Michelle Williams as a terminal cancer patient who sets out to explore her desires. I've been reading wonderful things about it.
Dina, thank you for your warmth and kindness. In many ways I’m fortunate. It’s the first time I told this story. There’s a through line presenting itself in hopes to tell this story well and for the erotic benefit of others.
If you unseal your lips I want to know. No pressure 🌹I appreciate all of your writing.
Thank you for reading. Yes you did. I have to look up your essay. I remember the intrigue and a bit of fear that shifted to courage to write. Thank you!
Thank you for tagging me Prajna. This is what patriarchy does to women - it takes and takes and takes from women, and then gaslights us into believing it's our fault that we've been robbed. There's a cultural shift where women in midlife are taking back what has been stolen and perverted by men. Unfortunately, I've noticed in books, TV shows, movies, etc on this topic, the women always have to pay a price for reclaiming what is theirs. They lose their primary relationship(s), jobs, reputations, and even their lives for daring to experience pleasure for themselves. It's maddening because it's being packaged as "female empowerment" but it's the same old misogyny dressed in a different costume.
Wow, Amy—yes, 200%. The facade of progress and liberation is thin at best, especially while sex trafficking and violence against women are on the rise. And now we’ve got bozo misogynists yelling “no rules” for themselves, like it’s open season on no consent.
But women are wide awake. And we’re not going back. 💥
Thank you so much for reading. I love your brave writing.
Dear Prajna,
thank you so much for tagging me in the first place. And before I go into my own response, I can only completely agree with @Amy Gabrielle for her comment, especially the last part. It is one of the reasons why I no longer watch movies or TV. The constant onslaught of patriarchal narrative sometime mocking us cross-dressed.
Reading your words was like entering a sanctum—a velvet-draped room lit by candlelight, where truth, memory, and myth dance together like firelight on the walls.
I felt the pulse of your story in my bones. The way you wove survival and reclamation into every scene—spine-straight and soul-bared—it reminded me that erotic pleasure isn’t just about the body; it’s about presence, about sovereignty, about finally returning home to oneself after years exiled by silence and shame.
Your line—“I never judged the dancer. I judged myself.”—cut through me like a bell in the canyon. I’ve known that self-judgment, that inherited guilt masquerading as virtue. And I’ve tasted the fierce liberation of refusing to carry it anymore.
Thank you for naming the forbidden, for inviting it to shed its skin and shine. Thank you for showing that healing isn’t always soft—it can be raw, guttural, glorious. Like the hiss of a snake before it strikes truth into the heart of what’s been hidden.
With gratitude and kinship from one who also knows the long road back to sacred, unshamed pleasure,
Jay
Dear Jay, OMG your words of hard won wisdom. The erotic isn’t just the body, the work to shed shame that isn’t ours do we can own all who we are, as sovereign and whole. I delight in your generous recognition and kinship. Solidarity
Thank you so much. I’m encouraged and I wish you the best always - the constant bell in the canyon singing us home.
Prajna, that wisdom was literally born—and as always, birth is messy, painful, and often complicated. Even though I don’t have children myself, I know that truth. It’s universal. No real transformation comes without its fair share of pain.
And still, when you arrive on the other side, it’s better than it ever was before.
Yes yes yes agree birth is not biological although there is that too.
Have a beautiful Sunday
Thank you Prajna, you and your kids, too.
Hi Prajna. I
have a story on my paid subscription page (The Lair). I’m not sure it’s relevant but I posted it today. It’s part 2 of a 2 part series. it’s all about pleasure and it’s called “Pussy Talk”. It’s my other voice, the braver, unapologetic, unedited, unfiltered me (Naked Fat Cat) by heartandmuse.substack.com
If you would like to read it, I can send it.
Oh my sister. Yes, Astrid, I would love to read "Pussy Talk", sounds powerful. Thank you for reading this piece and for your resonance.
How do I send it to you?
Astrid, my email: prajna@prajnaohara.com is perfect. It might take me a bit, but I will read both of them. Thank you so much!
I messaged them to you on Substack. let me know if you able to open and read them in their entirety. If not, I will email them to you.
Have a lovely evening
x
Hi Prajna
Part 1 is "Pussy Pillow Talk" and part two is "Pussy Talk". You should read both x
Love it!
Wow! You are extraordinary!
Thanks for reading Kathy!
An evocative read, well written, engaging and bleeding the truth
around a woman's sexuality, which is so much more expansive than "sex." We've been robbed of so much. I've been robbed of so much and I WANT IT…
“like a slow-coming secret”…I WANT IT!
The loss has been great in the reclamation, the reward…to be the possessor of my own body, my own erotic energy, my own sex to be given or withheld … it’s all my choice.
The performer has left the patriarchal stage…she’s done…She belongs to Life…she is birthing from within her own power a life which is aligned with her truth, her embodied presence.
I look forward to this series Prajna, and thank you for the mention. 🌹
Lila, I love your response. Thank you for being my pre-reader and urging me on — “like a slow-coming secret”…I WANT IT!'
Yes — you've got it, woman.
"The performer has left the patriarchal stage…she’s done…She belongs to Life…she is birthing from within her own power a life which is aligned with her truth, her embodied presence." Halleluiah to Balboa
Great cliff-hanger, Prajna! Thanks for the tag. I love stories about strong, conflicted women, who let their wild and wise side break through. Good writing. Good grit. Compelling. Can't wait for installment number Two!
Dear Stephanie, Thank you. In the rewriting of this, and after all of my writing on Medusa—the throughline current book is becoming clearer.
I appreciate you so much, kindred spirit.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for telling this story, Prajna. And for the mention.
"Sex was forbidden—betrayed—taken"… I'm so glad you eventually reclaimed it. Look forward to reading more.
Thank you, Wendy, you picked out a line that I imagine all women can relate to. Thx so much for sharing this post and connecting to your "Least favorite job" post.
What a story. So powerfully told. The truth at the center: “I judged myself.” As all women do. Looking forward to part 2.
Aww Mary, thank you so much for reading. I agree, it’s what we do. I appreciate you so much. This comment coming from you is quite a compliment.
Powerful piece Prajna and thanks for the tag! I can relate - and agree with Gabrielle too, the patriarchy takes and takes from women. We live in capitalism as their product and consumption. Split into two, the good girl and bad girl. One praised the other punished. This schism is crazy making. My sense is that the patriarchy is not just misogynistic, but is actually afraid of women's power and creativity. For when we are whole there is a fire in our bellies, a snake as our spine and erotic pleasure from just living life. My personal experience, who needs sex when you can have that? Especially when sex is presented as consumptive. Again great piece Prajna!!!🐍🐍🐍
Hey Julie, I love you so much. Your wisdom, ability to tell the truth and see life so clearly.
Who we are and what we are made of and because of this, we are feared
I’m pretty sure you read the essay by Audre Lorde on erotic power
She says it all
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing. I hope all is well in your world. I miss you. 🌹
I miss you too Prajna! I was planning on attending the last new moon meeting, but couldn't at the last minute. Hope to be at the next one!
And I hadn't read the essay on erotic power, I just did as I was writing this comment - and WOOOOOW. Very affirming around the work I've been doing these past few years. It hasn't been easy to step back into my natural erotic power when I keep being told it's wrong and bad. It's been mostly about unlearning and entering somatically and physically into this power. Her words were so spot on! Yes she says it all! 🐍🌹❤️
Julie, each time I read that essay I feel stronger, freer, more alive as we should
I look forward to seeing you around our moon circle.
🌹💙🌹🐉
Prajna, I'm so glad you pointed me to this story, this awakening. We women have had so many things forcibly taken from us. I can't wait to read the rest of the ways you took yourself and your power back. XO
Katrina, thank you so much for reading. As you know, it's been a journey, and we've endured a betrayal of innocence countless times. Do you find writing about it healing and empowering? I feel like I was without pleasure for way too long.
I absolutely find writing healing and empowering. And the more I write about it, the less it hurts. Now my goal is just to help others know they're not alone.
A wonderful and needed service. You are a blessing. I feel the same way. Hugs sister.
Wonderful story and telling 🫶 I’m finding the nuggets about your brothers particularly compelling. Write on!
Mimi, thank you so much for reading. These two are good men with decades of sobriety, doing their inner work. I’m curious, what do you find compelling? I want to write on, your encouragement is meaningful! 🌹
It was an absolute pleasure. Yeah I was surprised by that pull. I was all in the feminine mindset and there they are — and I want them to be. For you. I’m remembering a line from a book called The Firekeeper’s Daughter, spoken by a wise auntie — to the effect that every girl needs to know there’s one man on her side. Not because he wants one thing from her. Just because. I remember reading that and wishing it didn’t ring true but then thinking “yeah.” So maybe that’s it or something along those lines?
Oh! I have a similar "waitressing" story, but my lips remain sealed. 60! I am glad you got there, my friend, but I am sorry the road leading you where you needed to be was full of such trauma potholes.
I haven't watched it yet, but I have been reading amazing things about the show "Dying for Sex" with Michelle Williams as a terminal cancer patient who sets out to explore her desires. I've been reading wonderful things about it.
I love this title dying for sex. I’m going to look into it. Let me know if you do. We can see what is revealed. 😉
Dina, thank you for your warmth and kindness. In many ways I’m fortunate. It’s the first time I told this story. There’s a through line presenting itself in hopes to tell this story well and for the erotic benefit of others.
If you unseal your lips I want to know. No pressure 🌹I appreciate all of your writing.
Oh I love this. And I hope you're making up for lost time. And I'm glad I had a positive impact.
Thank you for reading. Yes you did. I have to look up your essay. I remember the intrigue and a bit of fear that shifted to courage to write. Thank you!
🌹